On Being a Consultant, Part 1: The Unspoken Rule about Keeping Busy
There are two different types of consulting--project work, where you are charged to build something for a client for a fixed price and then go home, and staff augmentation where you are a whore, pimped to the client for months or years--you are an employee of some body shop (and it hardly matters which one b/c you'll never see the office or speak to your pimp after getting assigned) and effectively are managed by the client but are not part of the family.
Although I've been in consulting for a decade, this is the first time in my life that I'm in the latter category. I'm learning a lot about big company life and thought I'd take a minute to share a couple of the more helpful lessons for those of you new to the world of turning tricks.
And here is the first lesson, it's not really turning tricks, it is more like being a kept woman. See you get paid for showing up, not for completing a task. Turning tricks is more like project consulting. As a kept woman, you are expected to service the client when necessary, but your livlihood doesn't depend on new Johns. If the client hires you to be an employee, that's akin to getting married. But I digress...
Like many of you, have this compulsive need to succeed. I'm probably masking some psychological deficiency, but I'm not happy unless I get things done every day. On top of that, I have this protestant work ethic thing that makes work moral. I feel bad to draw a paycheck when I know I haven't done a lot of work to deserve it. Stick me in a big, slow-moving bureaucratic organization, and I can finish a day's work in two hours. Sometimes one. Can you see where this is going? I have this moral thing about earning my money plus lots of extra time on my hands. What to do? Well, I'll tell you what not to do: Don't ask for work. Don't tell the boss that you don't have anything to do. Now, I can imagine what you're thinking, "But won't that impress the boss? You're showing that you want to work hard, that you're good at your job, that you are efficient." Nope. Nope. Nope.
Here's why: If there were work to do, the boss would have already given it to you. When you tell the boss that you are not busy--especially as a consultant--the boss feels a moral obligation to find something, anything, for you to do. For God's sake! If his boss comes around and finds you, a $100/hr resource, loafing online there will be hell to pay. So he'll make you fill out a TPS report, or research company policy, or clean your desk--grunt work that will rot your soul. You might argue that you are morally bound to work hard for each hour you bill. Fine. I won't argue with you. You'll probably have a great reputation as a hard worker. But (1) you might find it hard to live that way if you have any intellectual curiosity; (2) you won't grow much on the job and will only re-learn the "hard work" skills you got in high school working in fast food; and (3) you'll subtly communicate to your boss that he doesn't have enough work for you and should let you go. "I mean Sheesh! Why am I paying this guy $4k/wk to swab the deck?"
If you want to make everyone happy, obey the unspoken rule about big company life and never go asking for work.
There are two different types of consulting--project work, where you are charged to build something for a client for a fixed price and then go home, and staff augmentation where you are a whore, pimped to the client for months or years--you are an employee of some body shop (and it hardly matters which one b/c you'll never see the office or speak to your pimp after getting assigned) and effectively are managed by the client but are not part of the family.
Although I've been in consulting for a decade, this is the first time in my life that I'm in the latter category. I'm learning a lot about big company life and thought I'd take a minute to share a couple of the more helpful lessons for those of you new to the world of turning tricks.
And here is the first lesson, it's not really turning tricks, it is more like being a kept woman. See you get paid for showing up, not for completing a task. Turning tricks is more like project consulting. As a kept woman, you are expected to service the client when necessary, but your livlihood doesn't depend on new Johns. If the client hires you to be an employee, that's akin to getting married. But I digress...
Like many of you, have this compulsive need to succeed. I'm probably masking some psychological deficiency, but I'm not happy unless I get things done every day. On top of that, I have this protestant work ethic thing that makes work moral. I feel bad to draw a paycheck when I know I haven't done a lot of work to deserve it. Stick me in a big, slow-moving bureaucratic organization, and I can finish a day's work in two hours. Sometimes one. Can you see where this is going? I have this moral thing about earning my money plus lots of extra time on my hands. What to do? Well, I'll tell you what not to do: Don't ask for work. Don't tell the boss that you don't have anything to do. Now, I can imagine what you're thinking, "But won't that impress the boss? You're showing that you want to work hard, that you're good at your job, that you are efficient." Nope. Nope. Nope.
Here's why: If there were work to do, the boss would have already given it to you. When you tell the boss that you are not busy--especially as a consultant--the boss feels a moral obligation to find something, anything, for you to do. For God's sake! If his boss comes around and finds you, a $100/hr resource, loafing online there will be hell to pay. So he'll make you fill out a TPS report, or research company policy, or clean your desk--grunt work that will rot your soul. You might argue that you are morally bound to work hard for each hour you bill. Fine. I won't argue with you. You'll probably have a great reputation as a hard worker. But (1) you might find it hard to live that way if you have any intellectual curiosity; (2) you won't grow much on the job and will only re-learn the "hard work" skills you got in high school working in fast food; and (3) you'll subtly communicate to your boss that he doesn't have enough work for you and should let you go. "I mean Sheesh! Why am I paying this guy $4k/wk to swab the deck?"
If you want to make everyone happy, obey the unspoken rule about big company life and never go asking for work.
posted by ThirstyScholar at 6:49 AM
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