I've got a PMP and I'm ashamed to put it on my resume.


I get 10 calls a week from recruiters interested in me because of that certification, but they don't have any clue that the PMP teaches you the worst way to run software projects. In the words of a project manager at ThoughtWorks, "It's useful for not getting sued but that's about all."

The reason: The PMP believes in BDUF (Big Design Up Front) and fails to recognize the uncertainty, change, and human frailty that dooms some 80% of dev projects to failure. Sure, there's talk about how CMMI can be Agile, but these people are putting lipstick on a pig. (Actually, they're trying to sneak Agile into the enterprise by using the BDUF guys' language, something I applaud. It's just hard to read it and keep a straight face.)

So the industry insists you have a PMP. And the recruiters and hiring managers all ask about how you track issues and schedules. How you communicate. WTF. You're talking with me now mutha fucka? Can't you tell how I communicate? Why not ask a real question like "what makes a team jell?" or "how can you model human behavior in paper requirements so that your sponsor really understands what she's buying?" Well, I can guess why they don't ask these questions--they've never really built software. They are paper pushers and don't understand the craft. IT really is in a terrible mess, and I don't see it getting better any time soon.